Do men listen when women complain? (another view)

Most of us realise that the communication styles of men and women are slightly different. When men complain to one another they are seeking an answer to a problem. The other male will think up a helpful answer to assist his chum and the conversation will be over.

When women complain however, their prime motivation for doing so may not always be what it looks like to a man who feels that he is on the receiving end of a barrage of negativity from a over wrought banshee. Woman use complaints not only to provide others with information but to help them off load and relax.

The clash between the different styles of communication between men and women comes when men believe that when women complain they have a big problem, and that solving it, which may require drastic change on their part, is what she is looking for.

When a woman isn't just complaining in order to let off steam she usually genuinely has a grievance. The grievance itself, as many men will no doubt testify, is often aimed at the male recipient. Once again a difference in communication can cause angst amongst both sexes.

When a woman complains to a woman she is able to identify the required action, whether that to be to sooth the complainers furrowed brow or to help deal with the body of the complaint and make changes.

What a man hears when a woman complains is a direct threat to his being, like a wound to his pride. He may feel defensive and offended, or simply stressed as the complaint which isnt dealt with turns into a barrage of metaphorical arrows.

However, what a woman thinks is happening is that the man is either avoiding responsibility for his actions as he doesn't care about her, or that he doesn't take her seriously. When a woman feels she is being made light of she is likely to repeat her complaint and add others too it as a result.

So, do men listen when women complain? Yes they listen for at least a few seconds until an automatic shut off defence mechanism kicks into action and they start trying out different escape scenarios in their heads, as the complaints increase due to being left unattended.

The fault doesn't lay with either men or women as such, and stems more from a lack of understanding about how the two sexes communicate and what is really meant when a complaint is made. However, men and women are not a different species and sometimes couples do learn to understand one another more readily.

http://www.helium.com/items/1417369-do-men-listen-to-women