Whatif

I am a deep thinker, although I know sometimes I do appear bimbotic.

This poem by Shel Silverstein describes me perfectly, and also my friend who spent all night drinking coffee and thinking about things that should not bother us too much, if only we dare to do something about it. I know I am a wimp, but my friend's not. My friend's just despondent. My friend should not let whatifs manifest.

I know I have loads of whatifs but I know that even if I should be wimpy now, I will get out of my box one day or soon. SO FRIEND, GET OUT AND START THINKING STRAIGHT!

Whatif

Last night, while I lay thinking here,
some Whatifs crawled inside my ear
and pranced and partied all night long
and sang their same old Whatif song:
Whatif I'm dumb in school?
Whatif they've closed the swimming pool?
Whatif I get beat up?
Whatif there's poison in my cup?
Whatif I start to cry?
Whatif I get sick and die?
Whatif I flunk that test?
Whatif green hair grows on my chest?
Whatif nobody likes me?
Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me?
Whatif I don't grow talle?
Whatif my head starts getting smaller?
Whatif the fish won't bite?
Whatif the wind tears up my kite?
Whatif they start a war?
Whatif my parents get divorced?
Whatif the bus is late?
Whatif my teeth don't grow in straight?
Whatif I tear my pants?
Whatif I never learn to dance?
Everything seems well, and then
the nighttime Whatifs strike again!

Looking Back

2008 had been, well, how do I put it? I have grown stronger this year in terms of work definitely (I do not have anyone to cry to when I go home even when I am bullied to the extreme) but my romantic box is still as tightly sealed. Jan and I were talking about it just now, we simply do not want to be hurt anytime sooner.

Admittedly, Cupid might have shot some arrows my way but it sort of just grazed my skin. None of them really sustained my interest. Many of them could not match my level of wits or are just too shy. I'm not trying to say I am very intelligent but as one of my friends put it, I am quite a "fountain of useless information".

How do you go about explaining 8 years of failed relationship to another person? Many of you have stood by me all these years and saw how it died a natural death. Do not get me wrong. I am not bitter about it. In fact, I have learnt so much about myself and what others expect of me. I have grown to be a "fountain of useless information" because of him, if it were not for him, I may still be very ignorant. Yes, I am only as smart as my boyfriends.

Jan and I and Valentine's Day

Tomorrow is Jan's birthday so we were hanging out at Bliss just now. Next to come is Valentine's Day. She has me and I have her. LOL. Jalan Kayu's Mad Jack, here we come.

New Year Hopes

To a certain extent, I really do not dare to hope. I am worried that by giving myself ultimatums, I will dash all my hopes...

New Year Resolutions

This is my plan for 2009:

By Feb 14th to get version no.2
By March Holis to get version no.3
By Mayday to get version no.4
By June 27th to get version no.5
By National Day to get version no.6

I have to admit that I have thought further than that

By Sept Holis to get version no.7
By Nov Holis to get version no.8
By Christmas to get version no.9
by 2010 to get married

No I'm not delirious.
What exciting resolutions. One must have plans in order for dreams to come true

new year's eve

once again I have gone through a year frightfully exciting at work and disgustingly retarded in romantic life. I am running a temperature, dragging a box of tissue around and wrapped up in my blanket trying to climb out of my box today and some people invited to parties this evening are trying to box themselves up. Shame on them. Should post nermal and them in a box together to abu dhabi...

Ble and Puss in Boots

Just roughy, I might say that again, roughly finished my assignment for COR 100... really a ridiculous one. Going on to do law later (it's on liquidated damages).


Yesterday Pebble was put into her only t-shirt, not to mention that this is her least favourite T-shirt. Now, you can really see the similarity between her and Puss in Boots from Shrek...

It was also Mummy's birthday. We had steamboat and Julie came over. We had loads of laugh and Margarita for Rabind and juice for Julie.


Then we took this photo... Roy and I had to change into nicer clothes grudgingly. He had changed back when we took this photo.

I am going to have a new life!

Starting 01.01.2009, everything will start anew for me! Hooray! It is near my home as well... Though not the same place as Qili, but we have achieved what we want! I'll be with LINDA though!

Under pressure?

Jeff asked if I am the sort who cannot work under pressure... I would say pressure is good. Gets work done. However, I cannot work under discrimination. Whether you love me or not, believe me that I am not asking for credit. Just want the best to happen. This is why I must leave to make sure I do not not lose my love for my job.

Damage up to date

My damage up to date is around $8600... Not bad considering that I bought so many things for the people whom I love. Florida next year?

Love to sleep but...

Much as I do not want to admit but have to... I am still sleeping irregularly. Dunno which time zone. Sigh...

Hiao

Today berry hiao. Went to the shop at Northpoint to buy more beads for my nails. Very good deals. Bought 15 packets for $10. Aiming for more nails to practice the skill. Hopefully can do freelance one day to supplement my poor income. Promised Qili that I'll paint her Jie Mei's nails on her wedding.

Great Day

Today I went to work. Its Monday and I am reputed to have a black face on Monday. Simple reason is that people piss you off during meetings. However, today was great. Meeting was short, frictionless and constructive. Heng ah... Phew.

Qili liked my nails. Will lend me her nails one day. Ah Ming said "Ji mei li". LOL. More confidence. Thank God for friends like this.

Have I told you

I Know I had this in my blog. But I cannot help but put this in again. It just holds so much for me.

I Love You

On Mothers'Day, it's so easy to say "I love you". Love the people at home. They are here because God thinks they are meant for you.

Photos

My bro insisted that we take photos. Ok. Take liao. All in lok kok clothes. He's gonna threaten us to use it in any of our wedding montage. Shame on him. Must find a day to destroy the evidence...

Nails

I was experimenting with my cousins' nails today. Very nice of them to come and be my models. Thinking of quitting my job everyday. I hate my workplace. Promised Fiona that I'll split the profit with her if she cuts the nails b4 I paint. hahahahaha.

Expectations

This morn, I was talking to Ju. I'm gonna be godma! First Eli then now, I'm gonna be godma to my jie mei's child. OOh I'm so honoured. The feotus is healthy and can see 'something' between the legs' according to the mother. Thank God I did not go along to the gynea. I would have started tearing, like I did at her wedding. I know. It's quite emo. But a girl can afford to!

We went on to the topic of friends. I told her what I am going through right now. It's tough to really not be too upset about the 'expected emotion' that a friend should show. Since expectations fell short, well. I should be pissed. Maybe it's because I've invested so much but my returns seem to be... NVM, she told me sometimes we should not have any expectations on our friends. I think so too. Cannot be helped.

I'm back

It has almost been half a year. I think I am finally ready to accept many things. I passed by TPY today. No tears. No sweat. I'm good, I'm back.

Can't wait

USD dollar not very super low... But I can't wait. LOL